Wednesday 22 February 2012

More cold calls

Two minutes ago:

Caller: Hello. My name is Randall. I want to ask you some questions about your household.
Me: I don't have a household. I've been thrown out of my house, and I'm living in a tent.
Caller: That doesn't matter. You can still answer some questions.
Me: It does matter! You try living in a tent! It's most uncomfortable, and ...
Caller: It doesn't matter. You can still answer a few questions...
Me: IT DOES MATTER! Have you any idea how uncomfortable this is, living in a tent like this? I haven't time to answer questions!
Caller: It doe -

Randall seemed to be very short on sympathy, so I put the phone down. I should have stuck to saying I was dead. That works much better.


  1. The whistle is still the best IMHO but I don't always have one handy near the phone! Have you tried, "I'm glad you called. Tell me, are you happy about the state of your soul?"

  2. Living in a tent clearly doesn't shock them off their script the way being dead does x

  3. Death is useful. Even they can't argue with that.

  4. Even if you had said that you are dead, I bet he would have still said "it doesn't matter"...

  5. Oh, too funny, Frances. A tent, indeed. I want to try "I'm an old woman and I live in a shoe" to see what they say next time.
    But "I'm sorry, Kay Davies is dead" would probably be best.

  6. My OH has started waiting for them to introduce themselves and then say 'I'm so glad you called, I'd like to ask you a few questions ...'

  7. Why is it that nothing gets them away from the script?

  8. Jenny, your second suggrestion is certainly worth a try!

    Teresa, it occurred to me afterwards taht poor Randall probably does live in a tent!

    Joanna, death works every time (or has so far). You can't argue with the dead!

    Librarina, I have to remebr to use the third person; ie "she died last week". First person might sound supicious...

    Kay, they might not know that nursery rhyme. I think my caller was Indian!

    Patsy. that's brilliant! Do let us know if he succeeds.

    Colette, why indeed.

  9. Wish I could not answer at all and leave it to answerphone, but it's so tempting as it just might be someone I know.

  10. Well you tried... they just don't know how to take rejection, do they?

  11. Frances - you've been tagged! The details are on my blog.

  12. Brilliant! Once a cold-caller I had told me I was wasting his time after I told him we'd already had our windows and doors done and had no room for a conservatory!
    I loved your post about the conversation with the horse, too. New follower! :-) Linda

  13. Me too, Maggie. Me too.

    Rosemary, we could tell them a thing or two about rejection, couldn't we? (or maybe I should say, couldn't I!)

  14. Sounds painful, Patsy, but thank you!

    Linda, welcome! (That blessed horse lives under constant threat of evicion, but somehow those big brown eyes get me every time. You know how it is...)

  15. Damn nuisances. I get plagued with recorded messages that begin 'This is rent-a-nuisance, please don't hang up.' Cussing down the line and slamming the phone down hardly helps, but it sure makes me feel better.

  16. You mean you even get nuisance calls out on the porch, Mr. V? There ain't no justice.