...look like this, and I think it's terribly sad. People speak of "wasted money", but buying beautiful flowers for a funeral are the last thing friends and family can do
for the dead person. In a way, many of us need to do just that; to express our feelings in this way. I'm all for charitable donations, but they can be given in addition - why not? At my late husband's funeral, we had mountains of flowers, and they meant so much. At my mother's, we had lots of sprays and bouquets, and everyone took some home.
So, at my funeral - lots of flowers, please (no wreaths. if you don't mind), and please take some home when you go.
(I was put in mind of this while attending a funeral last week. The coffin was a woven one, with lots of flowers interwoven along the edge, and a huge bouquet on top. I'd like to go to my Maker in a basket, too. It was beautiful, and much less bleak than a coffin.)
Sister and I chose freesias, yellow roses and gardenias for our Mother's funeral. They were her favorites. We also ordered gardenia corsages for her sisters. Mum had played piano with a Big Band and the four younger sisters had many memories of singing and dancing along. The "after-party" turned into a lively knees-up!
ReplyDeleteSounds lovely, ER.
DeleteA woven coffin with flowers along the edge? That sounds beautiful, and very unusual. I bet in Germany it would be illegal - there are such strict (and sometimes rather silly) rules about everything here.
ReplyDeleteWhen Steve died, I found it was one of the most surreal moments in my life when I was standing in the undertaker's show room and had to choose a coffin.
We, too, had lots of flowers, all in Steve's favourite colours.
Illegal, Meike? How odd! After all, it's all going to be buried or burnt in the end, so can't offend for long!
DeleteI do like the sound of the woven basket with flowers, Frances. One of my older friends has already chosen her burial space under a tree in a lovely designated rural area.
ReplyDeleteThere's a proper barrow under the hills near here. I think it costs about. £1200 to book a place, but you have it be cremated, and I don't fancy that!
DeleteMy grandparents were keen gardeners, so most of the family brought flowers from our own gardens for their funerals. That was especially appropriate as in a lot of cases, they'd given us the plants.
ReplyDeleteThat's such a lovely idea, Patsy. Have you used it for a story?
DeleteFlowers at the funeral - yes, but not afterwards as they stain the headstone. One can substitute artificial flowers, or as in our tradition, a pebble to mark our visit at the grave.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment, DUTA. I'm not a fan of artificial flowers, but I do like the idea of the pebbles!
DeleteI'm ashamed to say that I cannot recall whether we had flowers for my parents funeral or for my son's celebration of his life (as my Mother arranged all the details of her and Dad's funerals and Andrew arranged his departure I suppose I may be forgiven. However your post may have changed my instructions for my departure. I have always though flowers such a waste but the idea of asking everyone to take them home appeals to me very much: particularly as I love flowers. (On the subject of flowers there will be an email on it's way this afternoon).
ReplyDeleteGlad to be of help, Graham. And many thanks for the lovely email.
DeleteI agree Frances.
ReplyDeleteThank, Yvonne. I'm glad you agree!
DeleteI must be odd. I don't give a farthing what happens to me once I've kicked off. Please, no flowers... burn me up and use me as fertilizer for flowers, but don't waste money on flowers for me once I'm dead. How about sending them to me while I'm still here, eh? *wink* Better yet, send me seeds, and let me grow them myself!
ReplyDeleteThat's certainly an idea, Mrs. S!
DeleteI do like flowers but having recently sent wreaths to to funerals and being shell shocked at how much they cost! I wouldn't want my friends and family burdened by the worry of the cost.
ReplyDeleteI like your idea of 'no wreaths' and everybody taking a hand tied bunch home afterwards.
I'm glad you agree, Maria, although you're right. Flowers are very expensive. But no one has to send flowers; just if they want to.
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