Monday 3 March 2014

Where have all the humans gone?

This is the kind of morning I've had....

To place an order, please press one,
To track one,  please press two.
This phone call may be monitored,
(We've got our eye on you).

Press three for other queries
(You may have to wait for days), we
Will play some music while you wait
Designed to drive you crazy.

You're ringing off? Oh dear. We'll be
Quite sad to see you go, but
Since twenty-twelve, this firm has been
Entirely run by robots.

Grrrrrrr.


17 comments:

  1. I know it's not really relevant but I used to sit next to a Robert in junior school. He was a bit thick. What they now call special needs.

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    1. Adrian, surely you know that nowadays, no-one is ever, ever, "thick"? Ts ts.

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  2. I had to laugh at Adrian's comment above!

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  3. I wonder if there's anyone out there who actually likes phone-waiting music? (I really really don't)

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    1. Actually, I've heard some pretty cool chill/lounge style music and the odd really funky piece on waiting lines, but never when I rang as a customer, only when I rang MY customers during the years I worked in sales, Monica...

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    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    3. DT, I think the short asnwer is no!

      Meike, you are fortunate.

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  4. Immediately before reading this, I had just finished dealing with a phone-robot who said "I'm sorry, I did not receive a 7-digit number." I had to phone the pharmacy again, and press 0, so that I could talk to the very nice young lady pharmacist. I should have done the 0 thing in the first place, thus eliminating the robot from the conversation entirely.
    Sigh.
    K

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    1. Kay, I feel for you. Really I do. And they call it progress...

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  5. Your headline confused me quite a bit at first, Frances. But of course as soon as I read the post I knew what you had meant to say.

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  6. I have had the interaction from hell today with Virgin to find out why my land line wasn't working. Had to conduct it from my mobile at my expense and they asked me what my password was???!!! A network fault in my area was diagnosed after 15 minutes (following 5 minutes of trying to speak to a human being)!

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    1. L, passwords are a whole separate minefie, aren't they.Just as you have two nice ones, they want extra numbers/letters/capitals. I've now forgotten nearly all of mine. And then they send you a new one which goes, eg, 7CgH5mMl9...or something.

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  7. Fabulous poem, Frances! Very clever. You made me laugh during the afternoon doldrums (between 3:30 and 4:00 p.m), which is quite a feat in itself.

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  8. For a list of all ways technology has improved the quality of life, please press nine.

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