Monday 5 September 2011

No, I don't want a bigger penis!

One of the problems with having a name like mine is that I am often taken to be a man, and as such can be subject to man spam. This must happen to (for example) Lesleys and Chrises as well, and it's infuriating. So in case the people who advertise the above happen to be reading this, please accept, finally, that I don't want a bigger penis. Or, come to that, any kind of penis. I'm a woman. Frances, not Francis. Got that? I'M A WOMAN!

On the other hand, if you've got something that will...oh, never mind.


  1. Frances, it happens to me all the time. My first name is Meike, which is an ancient Northern German form of Maria (although I don't know anyone less Maria-ish than myself), but it often gets mistaken for Mike. And yes, they want me to enlarge my non-existant penis all the time, too. There are, thankfully, email accounts where I never get any spam, and for the others - well, thankfully, I know where the delete button is :-)

  2. I get them too Frances - here as Anna and on my 'real me' site as well.

    Like your good self I do not want a bigger penis either - I am quite satisfied with the one I have (just kidding)!

    I like the good news I receive in spam. that is, so many people tell me I have won millions, yes millions - this is almost weekly! Nevertheless, I do not want to give up my pauper status - so do not respond.

    Anna :o]

  3. Me too Frances! I also get them from ladies who want to marry me and people who want to put lots of money in my bank if I just give them my account details.

  4. Hey I don't want to be left out, but I get the same offer for money and bigger wotsits too. Maybe there is a world out there of unhappy men all longing to get our emails, Girls.

    It makes you wonder just how an email can add inches to their wotsits or is it just to screw the unhappy men out of money and make them more unhappy.

  5. This really made me laugh, Frances! Funny, I used to get e-mails like that all the time, but since I changed my e-mail provider and address several years back, they seem to have completely stopped. And no, I don't miss them!

  6. Well, I bet that title will bring you a big audience! I'm feeling a bit left out as no one has made me such an interesting offer.

  7. Librarian, it's good to know that the Germans are also interested in that kind of thing!

    Anna, I'm so pleased that you're happy with what you've got (both money-wise and - er - otherwise)!

    Teresa, what a lucky girl you are!

    Jarmara, I'm glad you can call a whatsit a whatsit. Was "screw" meant to be a pun??

    Olivia, maybe your new provider has a nice clean mind (and a nice big whatsit, to use Jarmara's word!).

    Rosemary, I have to confess that curiosity got the better of me, and I clicked on the link, which will probably bring me no end of problems (not to mention offers). The "before" and "after" pics were pretty horrible!

  8. I get these ads too - and I suspect it's my wife that's sending them.

  9. It makes a certain amount of sense to offer enlargements indiscriminately - to men, who might feel better with one, and to women, who, well, might also feel better with one.

  10. Keith, confront our wife immediately.

    Hi Deborah. I think these ads merely give rise (ha) to false hopes, but generate a lot of money (probably for men with tiny...well, you know what I mean)!

  11. Of Course it was a pun, Frances... I hope it made you smile:-)

    You and your rises made me smile, bless you