Wednesday 14 December 2011

Bowel surgery in the woods with a stick

This is one of my eldest son's less savoury expressions (as in he'd rather have that than, say, root canal treatment).

And this is how I feel about Masterchef. As I've said before, I have several recurring nightmares, dinner parties (giving them) and deadlines being two of them. They'd only have to had my other nightmare - heights - and conduct Masterchef on top of a skyscraper, and the nightmare would be complete.

Which is why I (continue to) love Masterchef. It's my equivalent of a horror movie. Last night, the three remaining candidates were doing amazing things with tiny little bits of something rare and expensive, with that colourful smear they always have, and garnishes of squirrel livers and pine needles, and reductions (what's the difference between sauce, jus and reduction?).

Clare is doing brilliantly and, extraordinarily, she's ENJOYING it. This I cannot understand. I can understand being good at cooking, and wanting to win. But enjoying cooking an esoteric dish with cameras and sound engineers, and three 3-star Michelin chefs breathing down her neck?



  1. I'm torn now between Clare and Ash. I like Ash. Steve, I'm not so keen on, for purely cosmetic reasons that I'm ashamed of.

    I bet bowel surgery in the woods with a stick leaves you feeling torn, too.

    But not as useless as a chocolate fireguard. Hubby says that a lot.

  2. Another attention-grabbing title, Frances! I love Masterchef too - and I agree about Clare. Fantastic to see how much she enjoys it and rises to the challenge. And although Steve is good, my choice is definitely for Clare or Ash. He's just so cool, even under stress and has a really creative eye.

  3. I love it too, but Masterchef cooking is more of an art form than food you would cook for your family to eat.

    Those three brothers were something else. Perfection taken to ridiculous levels. Food sitting on top of cling film with smoke coming up through a hole - please!

  4. Aliya, after last night (Wed) I'm beginng to agree with you. And little Steve is very sweet, although I understand your reservations. We've decided we don't really mind who wins, but we don't want anyone to lose!

    Rosemary, Ash wasn't very cool last night! But I think they've all been amazing.

    Maggie May, yes. Those brothers were lovely in every way, That's another thing I like about this programme. No bitching, no back-biting, and everyone being pleasant. I loved the way the three contestants all helped each other out last night.