Friday 16 December 2011

My book for Christmas?

I am very, very bad at selling myself (ie my books). I have even been known to give a talk and not be able to bring myself to advertise the fact that I have brought books to sell. this is my blog, and no-one HAS to read it, may I (very politely) suggest that if you really are stuck for a present for someone, The Birds, The Bees and Other Secrets might be an answer?

British people love anmimals. Fact. And there are dogs in my books. So here is a doggy taster from my book:

Thus two days later, Mum set off to the rescue centre, and returned in triumph, a small bouncy black and white hearthrug frolicking at her feet. Its eyes were entirely obscured, and it seemed to be lacking something. It took me a few minutes to realise exactly what.
“Mum, do we really need a dog with three legs?” I asked.
“He doesn't mind,” Mum said gaily. “He’s used to it. Apparent he lost it ages ago. And look at it this way, Cass. He’ll have only three legs whether we have him or not, so he might as well live on three legs here. And he won’t need so much exercise, will he?”
“Won’t he?”
“Of course not. He’s got one less leg to exercise, hasn’t he?”
“Where are his eyes?” I couldn't even tell which end of the hearthrug was which.
“Under here somewhere.” Mum poked about in the matted fur. “There we are! Lovely brown eyes! We’ll give him a nice bath, and he’ll come up as good as new.”
Her new friend did not enjoy his nice bath, and Mum emerged some time later soaked to the skin and sporting several nasty scratches, but with her enthusiasm still intact.
“Here we are,” she said. “Doesn't he look lovely?”
Lovely was hardly the word, but we all agreed. When Mum was in this kind of mood, we would do anything to keep her there. Besides, she now had something to look after, and Mum was never happier than when she felt needed.
We looked at each other and gave a collective sigh. New Dog had joined the family.


  1. I was going to order your book from town, but may not get there until after Christmas (yes, I'm one of those annoying people who has finished all their Christmas shopping!). But if I can send you a cheque then I'd be happy to do that. Just let me know the best way of organising it.

    Re Masterchef - I think Ash was a deserving winner in the end, and I'm sure Claire and Steve will go far.

  2. I loved The Birds, The Bees and Other Secrets so much that I am now longing to read Dead Ernest as well.

    For anyone who hasn't yet read it, The Birds, The Bees and Other Secrets is fantastic and I highly recommend it. I stayed up late at nights, unable to put it down, and started reading it again early in the mornings when I was supposed to be feeding chickens, making sandwiches, rousing sleepy daughters and all the hundred other tasks the mornings bring.

    I loved it and wish I'd written it! Thank you, Frances. I was sad when it came to an end and the characters have stayed with me ever since.

  3. Maggie May, it's available from Amazon, hard copy or Kindle. Any problems, and do let me know.

    Thanks so much, Joanna. Really generous comments, and much appreciated.(I was sad when it came to an end, too. I loved writing that novel.)

  4. Sorry to point this out, Frances, but why has the Dog on the cover of your book have four legs if the Dog in your book only has three?

    I shall buy it after Christmas, if you don't mind.

  5. I like the sound of that hearthrug dog and can't help feeling he's going to get into a few scrapes.

  6. Different dog, Jarmara!

    Patsy, a far as I can remember, the hearthrug behaved reasonably well. He was charming, but greedy. I think...