Friday 13 January 2012

Boomerang son

Every week, there is a column in a well-known newspaper written by a mother whose son won't leave home. He is 24, and she appears to spend her time clearing up after him, cooking for him etc.

This is supposed to be amusing, but I find it absolutely infuriating. Children are SUPPOSED to leave home. That's what we prepare them for. When they reach 18 or thereabouts, they should be partying in their own (rented, shared, messy) place, pouring beer into their own carpets (okay. Bare floorboards), doing amazing things with other consenting nearly-adults, sleeping in their own (same) sheets for months, burning their own toast and running out of their own milk. That's what growing up is all about.

I love my children very dearly. They visit us often, and we love to see them. If they were to fall on hard times, I would welcome them home literally with open arms. But I don't want to live with them long-term any more than they want to live with me.

And if either of the younger two happens to be reading this, please, please will you come and collect the rest of your Stuff?


  1. I agree with you there 100%! My parents are very, very dear to me and we love each other tons, but I would not want to live even in the same house as they, let alon with them in the same flat, and neither would they want me to.
    It is lovely that they live close enough for me to walk there in about 10 minutes, but any closer would be too close.

  2. I've read the article you are talking about, I even took the piece out and gave to my 24 year old son who still hasn't left home.

    Funny enough, my son and I had a chat about if anyone called him 'Mummy's boy'... He laughed and said, I would tell them my mother has spent years trying to get me to leave home and I just won't go.

    I've always thought if I had treated him like 'a mummy's boy' he would've gone like a shot but because I've always told him to spread his wings and explore the big, wide world, he's just been a homing pigeon.

    You just can't win :-)
    P.S I left home at seventeen and never looked back.

  3. So very true and just how it should be.

  4. Ha! Love this, Frances. The kids were always welcome to stay when they were in college, but once they were out of school they were on their own. I have the same feelings about parents who babysit FULLTIME for their kids kids. I mean I hope to have grandchildren some day, but my kids know better than to expect me to be their full time babysitter.

  5. Librarian, you (and they) are lucky you're so close!

    But Jarmara, I bet you don't run around after him and then write (and complain) about it!

    Patsy, I'm glad you agree.

    You too, Maggie. BTW I can't access your blog. Is it just me?

    Yvonne, I absolutley agree about grandchildren. I look after mine on occasions, or have them to stay because they and I enjoy it, but I couldn't look after them on a regular basis. I've done my stint of full time child-minding (with no help from, anyone)!

  6. I hear of this sort of thing happening a lot these days. Back in the day (now I'm sounding old) we couldn't wait to leave home and make our own lives. Oh well.. perhaps some time soon there will be no such thing as 'empty nest syndrome'

  7. Absolutely, Frances! Because we lived near enough for our two to study in Glasgow and stay at home while doing so, we had no objection as long as they then found their own place when eventually using the degrees in paid work. And on the understanding that once they left home we really didn't want them back again (except to visit)!

    But both son and daughter felt exactly the same. Much as we are a loving family, they couldn't wait to be independent and we couldn't wait to be on our own again.

  8. Daine, I must say I was a bit lost when my nest finally emtied, so I filled it with horse, who doesn't have an untidy bedroom (well, he does, but that's different), keeps his distance, doesn't play loud music and monopolise the phone, and has no Stuff!

    Rosemary, I see that you and I agree!

  9. There seems to be something wrong with it. I can't access my comments box either. At least I can still comment here. Not sure where the problem is. Thanks for letting me know.

  10. Quite right too, Frances.

    Maggie May - I've had the same problem this past few days. It's a glitch that seems to have arisen in blogs that use the 'embedded at the foot of the post' option for comments. I've side-stepped the problem (for now) by going into SETTINGS, then COMMENTS and selcting the WINDOW option. My comments now appear in a separate window (like this blog of Frances's) It's not my preferred option but at least it works.

  11. HI, Valance. Where've you been? I thought someone had finally shot you.

  12. Howdy Frances. Where've I been? If I told you that you'd ban me for sure. Nope, nobody's shot me yet, but I guess someone will, sooner or later.