Wednesday 4 January 2012

Round robins - the final winner...

...came from cousin J, a relative by marriage. Not because it is entertaining or even mildly amusing, but because it has made me SO angry.

J is a Christian, a kind of preacher, a minister, a man who reckons he has a direct line to a God who will answer his every request. J's family are all well and flourishing, because the Lord looks after them. J did have a yacht (funds provided by the Lord), and now that he's had to sell it, guess what? The Lord has provided him with a nice little bolthole in the form of a flat overlooking a harbour Yes. That's right. The Lord has given J a flat (I assume J had to pay for it himself with the funds from the yacht, but the yacht was provided by the Lord). So. People are starving, lonely, grieving, in terrible pain, suffering awful tragedies. Millions died in the Holocaust. But the Lord has time for a spot of flat-hunting.

Now, I am a Christian. Not a very good one. In fact, not at all a good one. I gossip, and I'm lazy, and I lost my virginity years before I was married, and was delighted to do so. In fact, I've been quite a Bad Girl in my time. So I'm not in the same league as J. But I don't expect God to provide me with yachts and flats, or even to protect me from disaster. I just hope he'll help me cope with whatever life happens to throw at me. I have frequent huge doubts (I don't think J ever has even one tiny one), and I am quite quite sure that that serpent never spoke to Eve in the Garden of Eden, and that a man in a boat, with only seven helpers, never managed to pack all those animals onto it to avoid the flood, and that no-one ever escaped unharmed from the belly of a whale (these are all held to be God's own truth by people like J).

So. J is the winner. Because of the staggering conceit of his awful, smug Round Robin.

Phew. I feel much better now.

PS If anyone is offended by this rant (and I know there are some very nice fundamentalist Christians), then I apologise. But as this is my blog (and of course you are very welcome to visit it), I feel that it is a place where I can express my own personal feelings. Please feel free to disagree.


  1. Sorry to disappoint, Frances, but I can't come up with a splenetic denunciation of your opinions; I fully agree with them!

    J's view, which is not uncommon, always strikes me as bizarrely solipsistic.

  2. Self-righteousness at its "best"...

    Sorry, I won't come up with any disagreement here, either. And yes, this is your blog and therefore you do not need to apologize at all for anything you write here.
    I've had a lot of critical comments for various things on my blog, mainly from a close family member, but - it is MY blog, and I neither apologize nor change it, with the exception of one tiny bit of information about a mutual friend (nothing that would have made said friend identifiable for anyone) that I was asked to delete.

  3. Hear, hear! I love Tim Stretton's comment: no "splenetic denunciation of your opinions" from me, either.
    I hope God will give me serenity, courage and wisdom with which to handle life. I haven't asked for yachts and expect none. I once had a column in a small publication which allowed me to visit yachts and describe their interiors. That was fun.
    The job also provided me with sailing lessons, which were a little less fun because of my poor sense of balance.
    I tend to think God will provide opportunities but it is up to us to be ready for them, to recognize them when they occur, and do the best we can with them if we have the chance.

    Kay, Alberta, Canada
    An Unfittie’s Guide to Adventurous Travel

  4. Sorry to have to point this out to you, Frances, but God doesn't have time to read your blog or mine come to that, because he's far too busy flat and yacht hunting for all the good folk.

    What a load of humbug... the likes of godly J and my sister R make me cross. I believe in God but my religion has no title they are just my beliefs. I believe in the Good Book, but you can quote anything you like from it to suit what you want it to mean and people quite often do. I'm sure when my time comes the Lord God will see into my heart and make judgement on me as he will on the likes of Mr J and my sister.

    I would like to think the Lord God has better things to do with his time than hunting for Yachts and flats apart from helping out homeless and fishermen... :-)

    I'm sure when the Lord God looks into your heart he'll see a honest lady, Frances.

  5. The most boastful load of old tripe I get every year comes from so-called Christians (funnily enough one of them is a J too) and they too stagger me with their conceit and smugerosity and worship of material things.
    You won't find me disagreeing with you!

  6. As I'm allowed to disagree I'm going to - with your cousin J. He sounds like an annoying git and his gloating over yachts and flats doesn't seem to me to be in the true spirit of Christmas. (I'm not a christian, but do know Christmas is about more than what we get given)

  7. Somebody used the adjective 'sparkly' to describe Blogland the other day. She was referring, as you can imagine, to the sometimes excessive positivism that takes the place of honesty for many bloggers. So it's quite refreshing to read something that's very straight up.
    When I hear people say that God intervened to save, or provide, I really wonder if they have any thought for all those who don't seem to merit such benificence.

  8. "Splenetic denunciation" - Tim, I love it!

    Good point, Librarian. I'm one of those people for whom "sorry" is a kind of reflex. I've even been known to apologise to furniture if I trip over it.

    Hi, Kay. Yes - I've never quite understood those who believe in God until something awful happens to them, and then cease. Doesn't make sense somehow.

    Jarmara, God LOVES my blog! He told me so himself!

    HI, Teresa. Actually my J isn't really a J at all, but I thought I ought to do something more to hide his identity in case his God comes after me!

    Thanks for that, Patsy!

    Thank you, Deborah. I gather that if you're after more readers, then your blog should be "themed" (Galloping Granny for me, for instance). But I like to write about anythng that comes to mind (within the bounds of respectability...). Apropos your last point, I have a problem with thanking God, as it presupposes that you have been singled out for something which others do not have (but that particular discussion could run and run...).

  9. Can't disagree with you Frances and no offensive made in this direction. Anyway like you said its your blog and you can say what you want on it.

  10. Tim has put it so well - their views are 'bizarrely solipsistic'. Nothing more to add!